Two Sides Of Ryan: The Sweet And The Not-So-Sweet

THE SWEET: Ryan Phillippe and his son Deacon have a day together on the set of daddy's movie. See, Ryan could've dumped his kid off at a subsidized daycare like someone we know, but he'd rather spend time with him. Plus, the more time he hangs out with Deacon, the more he'll be able to turn the boy against that troll Reese. It's all part of the plan.

THE NOT-SO-SWEET: Ryan Phillippe made a completely dirtbaggy spectacle of himself last Thursday night at the Chateau Marmont. Phillippe, who was briefly linked to would-be singer Ashlee Simpson, was at the hotel's bar drinking with his buddy Joseph Gordon-Levitt when he reportedly began drunkenly shouting things at some young women congregated nearby. "Hey, you're hot! Get over here," Ryan allegedly yelled at the girls - apparently not impressing them, given that they ignored him completely. Ryan and Joseph, bored with the inattentive ladies at the Marmont, soon left for Teddy's according to spies.

Aw, Ryan - losing your touch already? Couldn't even get a bunch of skanks at a bar to come over? That's okay - Crabbie still wants you. And you can yell as much obscene shit at me as you please. Yelling obscene shit is foreplay as far as Crabbie's concerned. Gets me harder than a rock. Mmm, call me that again Ryan. Yeah, warm that shit up...

(source)

Ryan Phillippe May Have Hosed Ashlee Simpson

Not long ago Crabbie praised Ryan Phillippe for his taste and self-restraint in not giving in to the negligible charms of Ashlee Simpson after being approached by the pitiful plastic-faced whore at a nightclub. Well, it looks like the Crabster may have spoken too soon - it appears now that Phillippe may actually have succumbed to the allure of Ms. Simpson one night at Les Deux. A source tells Australia's New Weekly magazine the following:

When Ryan and his friends arrived they were shown to the only table with any space left — where Ashlee and her friends were sitting. ... He couldn't keep his eyes off her in her very figure hugging little black dress. They seemed very into each other. Ashlee was really excited. You could tell she had a huge crush on him.

The source then goes on to describe what happened after the pair returned from a private room they had disappeared into:

They were up there for over an hour and came back looking dishevelled. We knew something went on. ... They took separate cars and met at her place. He spent the night! Ashlee is keeping quiet and just said how hot he was. They really hit it off. I think they will hook up again.

Well, there goes any respect Crabbie had for Ryan Phillippe. I mean, Ashlee Simpson? He can't really be attracted to her, can he? What the hell does that chick have to be attracted to? Her amputated shnoz? Her non-existent personality? Come on Ryan. You're a hot piece of Hollywood man-meat. You can have anyone (except Reese Witherspoon). Throw a rock in the air and it'll hit a chick hotter than Ashlee Simpson. Wow, Phillippe has no taste at all. I mean, the only way I could see any man being interested in Ashlee's snatch would be if you pulled her arm and quarters came spilling out of it. Other than that...

(source)

Ryan Phillippe Is Not Interested In Flithead Starlets

Ryan Phillippe is not only hot, he is also a man of discerning tastes. A man not given to jump on any piece of tail that flashes itself in front of him. Why, in just the past few days, Phillippe has rebuffed not one but two well-known young tramps - Ashlee Simpson and Lindsay Lohan.

Now, a lot of men, I'm sure, would be happy to have one or both of those tarts chasing him around - for the good old ego-boost at any rate. But, obviously, Ryan does not consider these women such great catches. At Les Deux the other night, Simpson, she of the ever-shifting bone-structure, tried hitting on Phillippe - and was responded to with a yawn (she ended up leaving with Chad Hugo from the band The Neptunes, but her rep insists they're only musical collaborators). And as for Lohan - it seems Lindsay has been showering Phillippe with phone messages lately, trying desperately to get his attention. But, according to Mike Walker of the Enquirer, Phillippe has not answered any of Lindsay's calls, and told a friend that the recently-rehabbed starlet was not his type.

Hear that Ashlee and Lindsay - Ryan Phillippe doesn't want you. He doesn't look at your rapidly-aging, pitiful, desperate selves and get all hot-and-bothered like every slobbering ape on earth. He has standards higher than Brandon Davis's. But not a lot higher - he was married to Reese "the Mad Munchkin" Witherspoon, after all.

Reese And Ryan Back Together (Sorta)

Estranged couple Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe get back together - to attend a school play starring one of their kids. All right, so they're not reunited. And I'm sure there are some of you who are bummed about that. I, however, could not be more thrilled that the two remain separated. Ryan is, quite simply, way too good for that little Keebler elf Witherspoon. And I don't care if she won an Oscar while he remains basically a third-rate actor. Oscar, Schmoscar. They give those things out like candy. Marisa Tomei has one for God's sake. It's irrelevant that Reese is far more successful. What matters is that Ryan is the hotness, while Reese looks like the one pissed-off Munchkin who was in league with the Wicked Witch.