Will the flood of celebs wanting second-hand babies never end? Yesterday it was Posh, and today it's another talentless chick with absurd-looking boobs and no fashion sense - Jessica Simpson. Yeah, she wants to adopt too. And guess why? Because her dogs make her feel maternal. That's what she said. That taking care of her dogs has put her in the mood to have a baby. But, says Jessica, she's going to adopt before trying it the old-fashioned way. Hmm - is she trying to tell us something about John Mayer? Does he have a low sperm-count? Is he in no way, shape or form interested in inserting his penis into any orifice belonging to a female? I don't know - and it's beside the point anyway. The real issue here is that, under no circumstances, should Jessica Simpson be allowed to have a child. That chick is a mental patient. And please, for God's sake, if Jessica does somehow manage to finagle her way into a baby, don't let it be a girl baby. The last thing we need is for Papa Joe to have a granddaughter to ogle once she gets old enough. "Mmm, that was a really great dance you did for grandpa sweetie. But do you think you could bounce up and down more next time?"
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