Adorably uninteresting couple Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams may finally be ready to get hitched - but they don't want anyone to know about it. According to sources, the actors plan on marrying some time this year, but in order to throw off the press, they're going to do it secretly, and have forbidden their families to talk about it.
A little message from the Crabster to Ryan and Rachel: This whole throwing-off-the-press scheme? Yeah - lame. First of all, it presumes that anyone gives a shit about you two getting married. Dispatch from reality - they don't. Maybe one or two goofy fans have a passing interest, and perhaps the stylist who puts those darling pink streaks in Rachel's hair. But no one with a life even cares one iota. Second of all, that tactic of telling your families not to talk will never work, because, as everyone knows who follows celeb-news, someone always blabs. Some dimbulb cousin will go to a tab and give up the whole thing, and when you show up to the courthouse or whatever, there will be two or three photographers there, and you'll be like, "Who the hell told?" But you'll never know, cause the sources are always kept anonymous. And then you'll have to go through the rest of your lives wondering which of your kin sold you out. It will hang over you like a cloud till you die. But, congratulations anyway, you two crazy kids.
(source)
