Oprah Winfrey has come out in defense of her South African "Leadership Academy for Girls" after reports saying the school was too strict with its students. Said Oprah's Leadership Academy Foundation in a statement:
Our goal is to protect the health, welfare and well-being of the students at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy. As with other boarding schools, we provide a structured, safe and nurturing environment in which the girls can learn and develop.
Hmm, controversy over Oprah's boarding school. I wonder what kind of crazy shit they were doing there. Chaining the students to their desks? Forcing them to work in sweat-shops like Kathie Lee Gifford? Whipping and beating them? Wait a second, I've got it right here. Let's see...it says the school banned cell phones and e-mail during the week, required that parents arrange their visits at least two weeks in advance and limited the students' visitors to four each. And they discouraged the kids from eating junk food. Nothing here about whips and chains and being forced into slave labor camps. And what's the problem exactly?
Oh, I see, they wouldn't let the kids have cell phones and junk food. And who exactly are the people who were objecting to Oprah's academy? If they're in favor of cell phones and junk food in school, then they must be American high school superintendents. Damn - Oprah probably doesn't allow sex and smoking marijuana in class either. That fascist, she'd never be able to administrate an American school. Everyone knows that what makes the U.S. educational system so great is that we let the students do whatever the hell they please without consequences. Cause who wants to learn anything? Yakking on the phone and scarfing high-fructose corn syrup is so much more fun. And the best thing is that, then, the teachers don't have to bother teaching anything. And they still get paid! You can't fucking fire them no matter how bad they suck! Isn't America great?
No distracting bullshit or unhealthy food in school. Yeah, that Oprah. She's completely unreasonable.
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